TWO years ago it smacked me in the face and knocked me clean out. Once again, my wife was right. She had predicted what was happening, complete with her telling smile and a sarcastic twinkle in her eye. Now I was forced to admit it to myself. At 40 years old and with three children, in the October of 2016, I had bought a load of rusty weights to return to bodybuilding in my utility room. I was having a mid-life crisis.
Two and a half years later, on March 31, 2019, I won the PCA First Timers Masters Bodybuilding Over 40 class.
I’d trained in my 20s, with endless time on my hands and no responsibilities, but with a kamikaze approach to diet and a penchant for socialising that would never be conducive to success. Fifteen years later, however, with a demanding job as night sports news editor of the Daily Express, plus a young family, I suddenly developed the hunger, drive and focus to apply all the necessary puzzle pieces to succeed in such a difficult arena.
Realising I needed more equipment to further my progress, I finally joined PureGym in West Thurrock, Essex, in January 2018. Progress pictures were met with unexpected praise from online strangers who were either all trying to wind me up or all had a point. ‘Get in show condition and just compete,’ was the general consensus. Having been born without a shred of confidence, this took some digesting.
In November 2018, I took on a bodybuilding coach, Dan Tough of Tuff Training. Growing up reading books by Dorian Yates – Blood & Guts and A Warrior’s Story – I had always been sceptical about trusting another with knowing your body better than yourself. But I loved the process instantly. It probably helped that Dan was meticulous in every detail, right down to mental well-being. So solid was our relationship – despite me being in Essex and him in Blackpool – that we became friends.
Determined not to look a fool, I practiced posing every day for about four months. I had chosen my posing routine music six months earlier, practising and refining over and over again. Cardio, due to family constraints and work, had to be done when I walked through the door at midnight; ear phones on, whatever I could find on Netflix or YouTube to make it bearable.
My metabolism was suddenly like a furnace; I was cutting on more than 3000 calories on training days, with that amount only dropping on non-training days. Yet I was still hungry, still craving the sweets and chocolate my entire family appeared to be shovelling all around me.
The closing days of contest prep were appalling. Not just for me but my family, who had to master the art of walking on eggshells. The walk for the school run became an arduous task – the process of putting one foot in front of the other seemingly impossible at times.
Training, which was four times a week, however, seemed to go swimmingly right the way through to competition.
The night before the PCA show at the Stafford Gatehouse Theatre, while getting my basecoat tan – another absurd experience for a now-42 year old involving naked men and baby-blue children’s socks – I overheard a well-muscled male telling someone how he was in the Masters Over 40. Craning my neck to check him out as we stood getting sprayed orange by cheery females, I convinced myself I was beaten.
Show day came, there was four of us. I was fourth of four, I told myself repeatedly. On stage, I had practiced so much I was on auto-pilot. The guy I had noticed the night before came fourth. I’ve placed. Third was called. I’m still standing there. Second, I’ll take that. Second is called. It’s not me. I’ve won. My god, it’s amazing.
So much so that, instead of hitting an off-season to develop this fledging physique even further, I’m now competing at the IBFA West Midlands on May 18, this time in the Athletic Tall class. Glutton for punishment? Perhaps. Now I’m about to find out whether I truly enjoyed it, or just enjoyed winning. This class will be completely different and will shape whether I have a future on the amateur circuit or whether my mid-life crisis is complete.